By KBC Associate 
Can Porn Be a Healthy Addition to a Relationship?
The short answer? Yes—when used mindfully. Porn doesn’t have to be the enemy of intimacy. In fact, Dr. Frankie believes it can actually enhance relationships when approached with the right mindset. “Porn can serve as an enhancement to the sex you’re already having, offering inspiration to explore fantasies or deepen existing ones. When used mindfully, it can help spark excitement, increase intimacy, and open conversations about desires.”
However, problems arise when pornography starts replacing rather than complementing intimacy. If it creates unrealistic expectations, leads to a decline in physical or emotional connection, or becomes the primary form of sexual stimulation, it can negatively impact the relationship. The key is balance—porn should be an addition to real-life intimacy, not a substitute for it. Couples who establish clear boundaries and discuss their comfort levels with pornography use are more likely to experience the benefits of porn without the drawbacks.
Not everyone watches porn and walks away feeling empowered. For some, frequent consumption can lead to performance anxiety, body image issues, and unrealistic self-comparisons. If porn is making someone feel inadequate, Dr. Frankie recommends taking a step back. “The first step is to take a break from watching it. It’s essential to recognize that porn is a highly curated and manipulated portrayal of sex—featuring professionals, strategic angles, lighting, and editing that do not reflect real-life intimacy.”
Instead of using porn as a point of comparison, she encourages individuals to focus on self-confidence through fitness, self-care, and mindfulness. Exploring sexual fantasies in real-life, with a willing and communicative partner, can also be a healthier alternative to relying on staged performances for arousal.