By KBC Associate 
One sign of an unhealthy sexual relationship is a lack of balance in decision-making. If your partner dictates when, how, and under what conditions sex happens—while you feel like you don’t have a choice—that’s a sign of control, not connection. Another issue is unequal pleasure and satisfaction. If your partner only prioritizes their own pleasure, never checks in on your needs, and leaves you feeling like sex is just something that happens to you rather than with you, it’s a toxic imbalance.
Plus, using dominance as a means of control outside of mutually agreed-upon kink dynamics is dangerous. Healthy BDSM relationships are based on trust, negotiation, and respect, but if your partner disregards boundaries, ignores safewords, or refuses to discuss limits, that’s a serious problem.
Avoiding Tough Conversations: The Silence That Signals Trouble
Communication is the backbone of any strong relationship—especially when it comes to sex. If conversations about desires, boundaries, or concerns are consistently shut down, brushed aside, or met with hostility, it’s a clear sign that your relationship isn’t as healthy as it should be.
A major red flag is fear of bringing up concerns about sex. If you hesitate to express your needs because you know your partner will react negatively, that’s a toxic dynamic. Similarly, having your feelings dismissed or invalidated is another indicator of an unhealthy relationship. If your partner refuses to acknowledge your concerns, makes you feel like you’re ‘overreacting,’ or turns the blame on you, that’s emotional manipulation at play.
As well, a complete lack of conversation about sex—where your needs, boundaries, and preferences are never even discussed—signals a relationship lacking emotional intimacy. A partner who truly values you will want to hear what makes you feel good, what doesn’t, and how you can grow together sexually.
The Cycle of Bad Sex: When Intimacy Feels Draining Instead of Exciting
Good sex should leave you feeling energized, connected, and fulfilled—not emotionally or physically depleted. If intimacy leaves you feeling worse instead of better, you need to step back and evaluate why.
One glaring issue is repeatedly feeling emotionally drained after sex. If every encounter leaves you feeling used, empty, or disconnected, that’s a sign that sex is not serving your emotional needs. Another warning sign is dreading sex rather than anticipating it. If the idea of intimacy fills you with anxiety instead of excitement, your body is likely responding to an unhealthy dynamic.