Bride-to-Be Says She Feels ‘Shamed’ for Having a Big Wedding

A bride-to-be has received a lot of unsolicited opinions about her upcoming wedding — and now she says she’s feeling “shamed” for wanting a big celebration.

She posted her story on Reddit‘s “Wedding” forum on Monday, May 12, explaining that she plans to invite 170 guests to her spring 2026 nuptials. However, whenever she has shared details of her upcoming ceremony, she’s gotten some dismaying reactions from people.

“I can’t help but feel a weird sense of judgment from people my age (mid 20s) when I tell them this. Some are friends and some are acquaintances,” the bride-to-be wrote. While acknowledging that it seems like small weddings are “in” right now, she insisted, “I have too many people I want to share the day with to have a small wedding.”

Despite it being her celebration, she said people — “some are friends and some acquaintances” — can’t help but share their thoughts, mostly opining that her event is too large and costly. “I have gotten multiple statements made to me that just feel like passive aggressions,” she wrote.

The Redditor added she’s been told “they couldn’t imagine spending so much on one day, and how their small gathering and massive honeymoon will be so much better. Or how they would feel so awful for making people travel or spend money. Or how they could just never want that much attention on them.”

“Or they try to convince me I don’t need some big day and I will be just as happy having 20 people there,” she continued.

The exchanges have left her with some uncomfortable feelings regarding what should be one of the happiest days of her life. Seeking advice from the forum, she asked, “Has anyone else felt shamed for having ‘a big wedding’ recently?”

She later updated her post to note: “I’m not letting anyone put a damper on how I feel. I know exactly what I want out of my wedding. I’m just surprised at how many people are giving me their strong opinions and basically trying to tell me what I want is wrong.”

In the comments section, many readers agreed that it’s “very rude” for people to be commenting on the bride-to-be’s wedding size. “It literally has no effect on them whatsoever, so I think just brush it off and move on,” one person wrote.

They added, “I would personally never comment on something like that. Everyone has different budgets and tastes. And that’s normal — it’s your day, do what makes you happy.”

Another commenter said, “People just love to judge weddings for some reason,” before sharing their own experience.

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“Our initial plan was to do a smaller wedding, but we had a change of heart and are now doing a larger wedding. We got so many comments for our small wedding, and now we’re getting a bunch of comments for our bigger wedding,” they continued. “I’ve learned to just not listen to anyone at this point.”

Some readers even suggested that the naysayers could be “jealous” or “insecure” about the fact that they may not have the budget for a large wedding or have that many people in their circle to invite. “I think a lot of people feel shame for not being able to afford a big wedding and celebrate with a lot of people, so they’re probably acting with a mix of shame and jealousy and trying to comfort themselves that they made the right decision,” one reader said.

However, they clarified, “[It] still doesn’t make it okay,”

Another commenter offered the bride-to-be some simple advice: “Do your thing. A wedding is a party — everyone likes different types of parties and has different tastes and means. Have the celebration that suits you best.”