Groom Regrets Picking ‘Nightmare’ Groomsman: ‘Really Disrespectful’

A groom is regretting his decision to ask his friend of 30 years to stand by him on his big day.

According to the groom, the wedding three and a half months away, and one of his groomsmen has yet to book his ticket, purchase his suit or reserve his hotel room for the destination nuptials. Even worse, the groom says anytime he brings the subject up, his friend just “ignores me.”

“I’ve yet to have any sort of commitment, outside of a very vague verbal one, from one of my groomsman,” the groom writes in a Reddit post on the r/weddingplanning subreddit page. 

The destination wedding is in British Columbia. His fiancè is originally from British Columbia, which inspired the couple’s decision to host the celebratory occasion there.

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“So it’s a destination wedding for my friends and family,” the Reddit user writes.

The groom says his friend has made excuses for his lack of planning and blames his health.

“He cites depression issues and health issues quite often,” the groom writes.

While the user argues that he is a “fairly compassionate person” at some point it “needs to be about me.”

The two have a long history of friendship, and have known one another for 30 years.

“I feel that it’s really disrespectful to leave me hanging the way he has despite what his reasons are,” the groom explained.

“I’m now regretting it,” the groom writes. “I’m unsure how to move forward with this.”

Fellow Reddit users dropped their advice for the groom into the comments section.

One commenter said their family member experienced something very similar before with their best man and that three days before the wedding, he dropped out.

“I think that you should tell him that you don’t want him to over-exert himself on the day, and invite him to be a guest instead. My brother in law had a similar issue with the guy who was supposed to be his best man at his wedding, and he ended up flaking 3 days before 😭,” the user commented. 

Other users, who found themselves in similar situations, encouraged the groom to have another sit down conversation with his groomsman to solve the issue.

“Tell him you really want him in the wedding, but you’re getting worried about his lack of planning compared to everyone else,” another commented on the post. “Tell him it’s ok for him to drop out if he wants, and you won’t resent him if he does (this needs to be true for you to say it). But make it clear that he can’t be a groomsman if he doesn’t make any definite plans starting now.”