Groom’s Mom ‘Insists’ Rehearsal Dinner Should Only Celebrate Him

• A bride is asking Reddit users for advice because her future mother-in-law keeps insisting that her wedding rehearsal dinner should only celebrate the groom, not the couple
• The bride shared that she is worried this will “become a bigger issue” with her fiancé’s mother since she is not giving in
• Many commenters urged the bride to stand her ground and let her fiancé “handle” his mother and make it clear to her that the rehearsal dinner will be about celebrating both the groom and the bride

A bride is feeling stuck as her future mother-in-law keeps insisting that her wedding rehearsal dinner should celebrate the groom — and only the groom.

The frustrated bride shared her story on Reddit, detailing her dilemma in a March 22 post on a forum dedicated to wedding planning — and asking for any advice about how to proceed.

The bride wrote, “My future mother-in-law insists that our rehearsal dinner, which she calls the groom’s dinner, is meant to celebrate the groom” — even though her fiancé “has already explained to her that,” at least for them, “it is about spending time with our closest family and friends, expressing our gratitude and practicing for the ceremony.”

But the message isn’t sinking in. Despite her son’s explanation, her soon-to-be mother-in-law “brought it up again today and asked if she should set up pictures of my fiancé at the dinner,” the bride wrote.

“When I gently reminded her that the dinner is not a celebration of the groom and that pictures were not necessary, she became visibly frustrated and insisted that some people do, in fact, have a groom’s dinner specifically to honor the groom,” the bride wrote.

Not only was she “caught off guard” by this reaction, the bride said, but she does “not know whether to address it further or just let it go.” 

Explaining that she does not want this sore spot to “become a bigger issue” or “keep having the same conversation,” the bride concluded her post with a request for advice: “What should I do?”

Fellow Reddit users had plenty to say.

The top response pointed out that a “groom’s dinner” is just another (more old-school) name for a rehearsal dinner, and claimed the term was coined not because it is meant to center on the man, but “because the groom and his family paid for it, while the rest of the wedding was traditionally paid for by the bride’s family.”

Another user echoed this, writing that they have “absolutely never heard” of the mother-in-law’s claims about the event. “Yes it is tradition that the groom’s family pays,” the user wrote, “but it’s not about celebrating solely the groom.”

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As for actual advice about how to proceed, most users suggested the bride do nothing.

“You don’t have to do anything,” one top response said. “Your fiancé is on your side — let him handle his own mother. If you want to find middle ground, it wouldn’t be inappropriate for her to give a groom-oriented toast at the rehearsal dinner. If she doesn’t acknowledge you at all, she’s just embarrassing herself.”

Meanwhile, another user noted that the groom’s mom is “welcome” to host a dinner of her own, and argued that the groom is the one who needs to “deal with” the situation. “Mom, this rehearsal dinner is about both of us,” they told him to tell his mother. “I don’t want a [groom’s dinner], I don’t want photos of just me, and I won’t discuss it again.”

“Oh wow. If my [future mother-in-law] did that, I would tell my fiancé that his #1 job is to set her straight immediately and leave no room for confusion,” another echoed. “Then he needs to do whatever necessary to enforce that. I would stay out of it if I was you, unless it’s unavoidable.”

“Her son can confront this behavior in a more acceptable and nonnegotiable way than you can at this point,” the user continued, adding, “Sorry, that sounds like a really annoying situation.”